This morning as I was praying for my children and grandchildren I had an epiphany. Tears were welling up as my heart was missing each and every one of them. I love every one of them with my whole heart. I would give my life for any of them. I love them equally! There may be some that would deny that but I know my heart. I do have a closer relationship with some of them more than others. Why is that, because my love is the same? It is because some work on our relationship more than the others. When I am the one that has to do most of the work on a relationship, (which may be just my opinion), it keeps from having the closeness I long for. It doesn't change my love for them, it just keeps us from that intimate relationship.
So here comes the epiphany...is this how God sees it. Is that why King David was "the apple of His eye"? Is that why Abraham was considered a "friend" of God. The Bible never says that God loved them more than the rest of us. But he had a closer relationship with them because they worked on it. It wasn't a once or twice a week communion with God. They longed for a relationship with God almost as much as God longed for a relationship with them. These were VERY flawed humans. A liar, an adulterer, a murderer. But they still desired to be intimate with God. Just them having that desire had to make God's heart sing.
I desire also to have an intimate relationship with God. I know that I am also a VERY flawed human. I know that God loves me as much as He loves anyone else. I know that it won't make Him love me more than He already does. It will make ME love HIM more. I want to be His "friend" and "the apple of His eye". I know it will take work on my part. More digging into His Word. More praying and communing with Him.
My New Years resolution is...to keep striving for that close intimate relationship that I know God longs for, just like I long for with my family...
The love is there, now for the relationship...
Friday, December 30, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
Chex Mixes
I love trying new recipes. Not all of them turn out very good. I get so excited when they do. Here are a couple of them that did.
INDIAN SPICED CHEX MIX
3 cups each of Rice, Corn, and Wheat Chex
1 cup cashews
1/2 cup almonds
Mix together in a large microwavable bowl set aside
In a small microwavable bowl melt;
1 1/2 Tbs butter
add:
3 Tbs. light corn syrup
3 Tbs. honey
3/4 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. ground cardamom (This is expensive but you can substitute 1/2 tsp. cinnamon and 1/2 tsp. nutmeg)
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
dash cayenne pepper
Microwave 10 more seconds, stir well, pour over cereal mixture stir well to coat.
Microwave 3 min. stirring after each min.
Spread out on wax paper to cool. Store in airtight container.
______________________________________________________________
CHILI-LIME CHEX MIX
8 cups Corn chex
1 cup corn nuts
1 cup mini pretzel twists
1 cup corn chips
Mix in large microwavable bowl set aside.
In small microwavable bowl melt;
6 Tbs. butter
Stir in;
1 Tbs. lime juice
1 tsp. lime zest
2 tsps. chili powder
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. onion powder
1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper
Pour over cereal mixture, stirring to coat. Microwave 5-6 mins. stirring every 2 mins. Spread on waxed paper to cool. Store in airtight container.
INDIAN SPICED CHEX MIX
3 cups each of Rice, Corn, and Wheat Chex
1 cup cashews
1/2 cup almonds
Mix together in a large microwavable bowl set aside
In a small microwavable bowl melt;
1 1/2 Tbs butter
add:
3 Tbs. light corn syrup
3 Tbs. honey
3/4 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. ground cardamom (This is expensive but you can substitute 1/2 tsp. cinnamon and 1/2 tsp. nutmeg)
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
dash cayenne pepper
Microwave 10 more seconds, stir well, pour over cereal mixture stir well to coat.
Microwave 3 min. stirring after each min.
Spread out on wax paper to cool. Store in airtight container.
______________________________________________________________
CHILI-LIME CHEX MIX
8 cups Corn chex
1 cup corn nuts
1 cup mini pretzel twists
1 cup corn chips
Mix in large microwavable bowl set aside.
In small microwavable bowl melt;
6 Tbs. butter
Stir in;
1 Tbs. lime juice
1 tsp. lime zest
2 tsps. chili powder
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. onion powder
1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper
Pour over cereal mixture, stirring to coat. Microwave 5-6 mins. stirring every 2 mins. Spread on waxed paper to cool. Store in airtight container.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Ramblings on death/life/love
A friend of mine lost her son this weekend in a terrible car accident. I hurt for her and know that the next year will be some of the hardest trials she will go through. There will be all of those firsts...first Thanksgiving without him...first Christmas...first birthdays...first Mother's day. I need to send up special prayers on those days for her.
From what I have heard, he was a good Christian man, father, husband, son, brother, friend. It just goes to prove that no matter how "good" you are, you can't escape the inevitable, death. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says "for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart."
We mourn because we want to be able to see our loved ones. We don't want them to die and leave us alone. We don't want to feel that emptiness, loneliness, pain. Yes we Christians feel this as much as non-Christians. The difference is, that if our loved ones are also believers, then it is only for a time. We will see them again. Then we will never be apart from them.
Revelations 21:4 says "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order or things has passed away."
What a wonderful day to look forward to. To have that hope. To have that promise. All of these petty things that irritate us, or hurt our feelings, will be nothing. If they are nothing then, why should they be anything now?
We need to love more, forgive immediately, cherish those around us. Even those that seem unlovable. God loves them, we should too. Let's not ruin the time we have left on this earth being self-centered or embittered by what we think are hurtful things. Just let it go...it means nothing. The gift that God gave us is Jesus. He is what we need to keep our minds on.
From what I have heard, he was a good Christian man, father, husband, son, brother, friend. It just goes to prove that no matter how "good" you are, you can't escape the inevitable, death. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says "for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart."
We mourn because we want to be able to see our loved ones. We don't want them to die and leave us alone. We don't want to feel that emptiness, loneliness, pain. Yes we Christians feel this as much as non-Christians. The difference is, that if our loved ones are also believers, then it is only for a time. We will see them again. Then we will never be apart from them.
Revelations 21:4 says "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order or things has passed away."
What a wonderful day to look forward to. To have that hope. To have that promise. All of these petty things that irritate us, or hurt our feelings, will be nothing. If they are nothing then, why should they be anything now?
We need to love more, forgive immediately, cherish those around us. Even those that seem unlovable. God loves them, we should too. Let's not ruin the time we have left on this earth being self-centered or embittered by what we think are hurtful things. Just let it go...it means nothing. The gift that God gave us is Jesus. He is what we need to keep our minds on.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Random?
Do we really know what is random? What may appear as random could actually be divine intervention. Now don't get me wrong, I don't believe that every single thing in the universe is pre-planned or what would the point of "free choice" be? I do believe that their are more things than we realize that are results of what we say or what we do. And that many of those decisions we make are rewarded or punished. Not all, the finally reward or punishment will be much later.
Today is my birthday. It had been a good day. Nothing out of the ordinary. The kids called, some of the grand kids texted me or fb me happy b-day. Lots and lots of friends fb me happy b-day. I have been feeling very loved. My hubby was able to spend most of the morning with me. Just a good day.
I went to get a few grocery items that were on sale. I went to the dollar store section of the grocery store. One of my clients has very limited funds and I had been keeping an eye out for a silverware organizer for her. Her silverware was just scattered in a drawer. I knew she wouldn't or couldn't get one. I have also been sneaking over some wooden spoons (she had one with the handle broken to within 2 in. of the bowl.) and measuring spoons and cups. I never tell her that I brought them I just stick them in her drawers.
The prize!!! I found an organizer for only a dollar. I slipped it into my cart, finished shopping, and went to the checkout. While I was waiting for the total, a lady and her little girl of about 7 or 8 went up to the clerk and said, "This little girl wants to do a random act of kindness and pay $10.00 of this lady's grocery bill." I was almost speachless. I said thank you and stood there crying while other people were looking at me. Some of them started crying too.
Was that really random or was God blessing me tenfold for the little minor thing I was doing for someone else? Sometimes its just the little things that make a difference to someone.
A VERY Happy Birthday to me!!!
Today is my birthday. It had been a good day. Nothing out of the ordinary. The kids called, some of the grand kids texted me or fb me happy b-day. Lots and lots of friends fb me happy b-day. I have been feeling very loved. My hubby was able to spend most of the morning with me. Just a good day.
I went to get a few grocery items that were on sale. I went to the dollar store section of the grocery store. One of my clients has very limited funds and I had been keeping an eye out for a silverware organizer for her. Her silverware was just scattered in a drawer. I knew she wouldn't or couldn't get one. I have also been sneaking over some wooden spoons (she had one with the handle broken to within 2 in. of the bowl.) and measuring spoons and cups. I never tell her that I brought them I just stick them in her drawers.
The prize!!! I found an organizer for only a dollar. I slipped it into my cart, finished shopping, and went to the checkout. While I was waiting for the total, a lady and her little girl of about 7 or 8 went up to the clerk and said, "This little girl wants to do a random act of kindness and pay $10.00 of this lady's grocery bill." I was almost speachless. I said thank you and stood there crying while other people were looking at me. Some of them started crying too.
Was that really random or was God blessing me tenfold for the little minor thing I was doing for someone else? Sometimes its just the little things that make a difference to someone.
A VERY Happy Birthday to me!!!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Memories, regrets, and 8-track tapes
How many of you remember 8-track tapes? I use to have some, but I sold them after I got married as I was down-sizing things to move...and I no longer had an 8-track tape player. This week as I was working, one of my clients pulled out 3 case full of 8-tracks, pulled out a tape and inserted into his huge tape player/radio. Songs that speak to me and take me back to a simpler time. Barry Manilow, Glen Cambell, Johnnie Mathis, Crystal Gayle, Lynn Anderson, The Oak Ridge Boys, Crash Craddock, Bobby Vinton, and many more. My client told me that he had maybe a hundred tapes or more.
Listen to those classics, he started reminiscing. He talked of his teenage years. He was known as the crooner. He sang at dances. Sang at his high school prom. He was voted to be most likely to make it to the hit parade. He had a football scholarship to Michigan state. Lost it in the final game of his senior year with the winning touch down. Got his knee messed up. So instead he joined the marines. He was a POW in Viet Nam, he escaped on his own.
His biggest regret, though, was letting the love of his life slip through his fingers. The music brought it all back to him. I could feel his heartache. It makes one realize that he still has all the same feelings and emotions that we all do.
He told me that he would like to jump in his van, roll his windows down, put an 8-track in the tape player, turn it to blasting, and head to Pennsylvania. Not really something you would expect a man of 75 yrs. to say.
As I watched him talk I could see the years melt away. A light shone in his eyes that allowed me to glimps at the real person inside. It was amazing to see.
My friend, Jan, emailed a poem to me that says it so well. I hope she doesn't mind me using it. Thanks Jan.
"When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in Moosomin, Saskatchewan, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value."
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distrbuted to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Alberta.
The man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editition ot the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple but eloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet."
Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses?...
...What do you see?
What are you thinking...
...when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man...not very wise,
Uncertain of habit...
with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food....
and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice...
'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice...
the things that you do.
And forever is losing...
A sock or a shoe?
Who, resisting or not...
lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding...
...The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?
...Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse
...you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am...
As I sit here so still,
As I do your bidding,
...As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten...
with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters...
Who love one another.
A young boy of sixteen...
with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now...
...a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at twenty...
...my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows...
that I promise to keep.
At twenty-five, now...
...I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide...
and a secure happy home.
A man of thirty...
My young now grown fast,
bound to each other...
with ties that should last.
At forty, my young sons...
have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me,
to see I don't mourn.
At fifty, once more, babies
play 'round my knee,
Again we know children...
My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me...
my wife is now dead.
I look at the future...
shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing...
young of their own.
And I think of the years...
and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man...
and nature is cruel.
'Tis jest to make old age...
look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles...
grace and vigor,depart.
There is now a stone...
where I once had a heart
But inside this old carcass...
...a young guy still dwells,
And now and again...
my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys...
I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living...
life over again
I think of the years, all too few...
gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact...
that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people...
...open and see.
Not a crabby old man...
Look closer...see ME!!!
Listen to those classics, he started reminiscing. He talked of his teenage years. He was known as the crooner. He sang at dances. Sang at his high school prom. He was voted to be most likely to make it to the hit parade. He had a football scholarship to Michigan state. Lost it in the final game of his senior year with the winning touch down. Got his knee messed up. So instead he joined the marines. He was a POW in Viet Nam, he escaped on his own.
His biggest regret, though, was letting the love of his life slip through his fingers. The music brought it all back to him. I could feel his heartache. It makes one realize that he still has all the same feelings and emotions that we all do.
He told me that he would like to jump in his van, roll his windows down, put an 8-track in the tape player, turn it to blasting, and head to Pennsylvania. Not really something you would expect a man of 75 yrs. to say.
As I watched him talk I could see the years melt away. A light shone in his eyes that allowed me to glimps at the real person inside. It was amazing to see.
My friend, Jan, emailed a poem to me that says it so well. I hope she doesn't mind me using it. Thanks Jan.
"When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in Moosomin, Saskatchewan, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value."
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distrbuted to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Alberta.
The man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editition ot the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple but eloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet."
Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses?...
...What do you see?
What are you thinking...
...when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man...not very wise,
Uncertain of habit...
with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food....
and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice...
'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice...
the things that you do.
And forever is losing...
A sock or a shoe?
Who, resisting or not...
lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding...
...The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?
...Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse
...you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am...
As I sit here so still,
As I do your bidding,
...As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten...
with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters...
Who love one another.
A young boy of sixteen...
with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now...
...a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at twenty...
...my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows...
that I promise to keep.
At twenty-five, now...
...I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide...
and a secure happy home.
A man of thirty...
My young now grown fast,
bound to each other...
with ties that should last.
At forty, my young sons...
have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me,
to see I don't mourn.
At fifty, once more, babies
play 'round my knee,
Again we know children...
My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me...
my wife is now dead.
I look at the future...
shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing...
young of their own.
And I think of the years...
and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man...
and nature is cruel.
'Tis jest to make old age...
look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles...
grace and vigor,depart.
There is now a stone...
where I once had a heart
But inside this old carcass...
...a young guy still dwells,
And now and again...
my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys...
I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living...
life over again
I think of the years, all too few...
gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact...
that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people...
...open and see.
Not a crabby old man...
Look closer...see ME!!!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
I am where I need to be.
Last month I got to watch my Grandchildren show livestock at the county fair. It was a week of fun exhaustion. I knew the time would fly by, and it did. We got home late on a Sunday night and off to work the next morning to see my clients and I kept pretty busy.
Last Monday as I got up for work, alone, (Ralph left for Indy the night before.) the rain, which I was very thankful for, put me in a melancholy mood. I read my devotions and prayed, but still felt so lonely. I wanted to be closer to my family. I missed them so much, and missed being more a part of their lives.
After I got o my first client, my mood changed. He was so glad to see me and even broke out into song. (Which he often does.) After I finished with my second client I realized that I need them as much as they need me. I am where I need to be...for now.
Last Monday as I got up for work, alone, (Ralph left for Indy the night before.) the rain, which I was very thankful for, put me in a melancholy mood. I read my devotions and prayed, but still felt so lonely. I wanted to be closer to my family. I missed them so much, and missed being more a part of their lives.
After I got o my first client, my mood changed. He was so glad to see me and even broke out into song. (Which he often does.) After I finished with my second client I realized that I need them as much as they need me. I am where I need to be...for now.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Pickles
I am not really a big pickle fan. Their are really only 2 kinds that I like. Both of them are the ones that my Mom always made. Maybe it is nostalgia but I think it is just that Mom really knows how to make pickles.To keep from losing these wonderful recipes, I am passing it on to you. It is well worth the effort.
Start you own family tradition. I hope you all will try making a batch.
It really gives me something to do with my extremely prolific cucumber plants.
- BREAD AND BUTTER PICKLES
1 gal. thinly sliced unpeeled cucumbers (the thinner the better)
8 medium onions, thinly sliced
1/2 cup salt
Combine and cover with ice water and let set for 3 hours then drain.
Bring to boil;
4 cups apple cider vinegar
1 cup water
5 cups sugar
1 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves or 1 teaspoon whole cloves
2 tablespoons mustard seeds
When sugar is dissolved add drained cucumbers and onions.
Bring to a rolling boil and can.
LIME PICKLES
7 lbs. cucumbers cut in 1/4 in. slices
MIX;
2 cups pickling lime with 2 gal. cold water
Soak cucumbers in lime solution 24 hours
RINSE;
well with cold water then cover with cold water and soak 3 hours longer.
BRING TO BOIL;
2 quarts cider vinegar
4 1/2 lbs. white sugar
1 tablespoon salt
1 teaspoon celery seed
1 teaspoon whole cloves
1 teaspoon mixed pickling spices
DRAIN;
cucumbers and cover with vinegar solution. If needed weight down cucumbers to be sure they are covered. Soak over night. The next day bring everything to a boil and simmer for 40 minutes. Pack in jars and seal.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
On my soapbox again
What a whiner! I read my last post and seen all the self-pity dripping disgustedly.
The things I have seen the last few weeks makes me ashamed of my petty complaints.
My knee is doing better.
I know a lady who will never be able to walk again and is very close to spending the rest of her life
in a place she doesn't want to go.
Losing her independence, and dignity, forever.
Being told what to do and when to do it.
Yes, sadly, she needs extra help that she can't provide for herself.
And yes, that will probably be her only option.
Her mind is clear. She is intelligent. A little demanding. A little stubborn.
Why is that a crime? Why is it a crime to be old or disabled?
Do you know that if you are a criminal and in prison you have more rights then if you are in a nursing home?
We don't even consider all of this when you are younger.
We make jokes. We think that is just what everyone should do.
I respect and admire those that try to take care of their parents, even if only for a little while.
I know of some people who want to put their father in a nursing home because they are worried that he
will fall (He has fallen several times and broke bones) and because he lives alone they fear for his life.
It makes him angry because he thinks they don't think he is capable of taking care of himself.
He was a marine. Very intelligent. Funny. Interesting.
Does anyone ever consider that for someone like that, they, would rather die earlier than to live longer in a
place that will never be home to them?
Why can't the nursing homes change to meet the needs of the residents instead meeting the needs of the
people who put them there.
It should be an enjoyable place for them. A home. A place that lets them come and go as they please.
I know that there are assisted living facilities. Not enough of them. Very expensive.
Or maybe families could get tax breaks for putting up daudy houses like the Amish have for their elderly.
that takes away their freedom and sense
Saturday, June 25, 2011
The onion patch
It has been a very long time that I have been this dirty.
And it is all because I am a procrastinator. (Don't tell my daughter, Jamie.
She thinks she has exclusive rights to that title.)
I have done pretty well at keeping my garden weeded...except the onions.
I never planted this many either. They started out so beautifully too.
I don't really know why I neglected them so bad. Anyway the grass and weeds took over. Mostly grass.
I decided that I would finally rid the onions of a lawn.
It took about an hour and a half but finally you can see the onions.
I weeded in my shorts, which I never wear in public.
I also sat on the ground. The reason I got so dirty.
I am finding that I am getting too old to bend or squat for very long. I suffer greatly when I try.
Actually I don't feel that I am getting too but my body tries to disagree with me.
I will continue to cautiously rebel against my aches and pains.
I do mean cautiously. Just trying to avoid having to use Ben Gay. Still sometimes it wins.
Take running for instance. I had been trying to get some needed exercise by running.
When I say running it really means that I could beat a turtle, or a crawling baby in a race, but that is about all.
Anyway my stupid knee has kept me from continuing that pursuit.
(Stupid Knee!)
I have tried new shoes and a knee wrap. Still no help. Guess I will just have to stick to walking for now.
(SIGH)
I refuse to wallow in self pity!!! I also refuse to give in to the aging process.
Is that really possible or am I just in denial?
Saturday, June 18, 2011
It is an imperfect heart
As I was reading through my blogs, I thought to myself, "Wow, I would really like to be like this person."
It occurred to me that when we write about ourselves we have a habit of putting down our good thoughts and people get the idea that we really have it all together. I only wish!! If everyone knew what goes through my head sometimes they would probably be appalled.
I have at times had terrible thoughts about people, been angry over stupid things, whined and had pity parties. Felt far from God, been depressed, been lazy, ignored people I shouldn't have, said spiteful things and the list goes on and on.
Guess what? That is okay if everyone knows that. I want God to be glorified, not me. God is doing a work in me that will take the rest of my life. Seriously, we all want people to think the best of us. I don't think of myself as a bad person until I look deeper and see the pride and yes sometimes self-righteousness, the one thing I hate in other people. I hate it in myself too. It is not that I think I am better than others it is just sometimes I think I am better than I really am.
But if we get insights on things and don't share them we are wasting our experiences and knowledge. Maybe we can help to make the path a little easier for the next person.
So I also need to tell myself the next time I read someone else's blog that I admire,that God is doing a work in them too, and it is so beautiful to see!!!
It occurred to me that when we write about ourselves we have a habit of putting down our good thoughts and people get the idea that we really have it all together. I only wish!! If everyone knew what goes through my head sometimes they would probably be appalled.
I have at times had terrible thoughts about people, been angry over stupid things, whined and had pity parties. Felt far from God, been depressed, been lazy, ignored people I shouldn't have, said spiteful things and the list goes on and on.
Guess what? That is okay if everyone knows that. I want God to be glorified, not me. God is doing a work in me that will take the rest of my life. Seriously, we all want people to think the best of us. I don't think of myself as a bad person until I look deeper and see the pride and yes sometimes self-righteousness, the one thing I hate in other people. I hate it in myself too. It is not that I think I am better than others it is just sometimes I think I am better than I really am.
But if we get insights on things and don't share them we are wasting our experiences and knowledge. Maybe we can help to make the path a little easier for the next person.
So I also need to tell myself the next time I read someone else's blog that I admire,that God is doing a work in them too, and it is so beautiful to see!!!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
The Human Touch
As I think back on the past 2 weeks at my new job, I think about the people I have seen. Some are pretty
much all alone and see no one else except their in-home aid for weeks and weeks at a time. Others see
family members daily or at least weekly.
Still others spend a lot of time on the phone connected to loved ones.
I wonder if those family members that call regularly but visit rarely think they are doing enough for their loved
one.
"We have called Mom/Dad and they are having their needs met. Someone is doing their housework, cooking, personal needs. We have fulfilled our duty as their child." Are they though? What about companionship, face to face communication? Yes their are some that visit daily or at least several times a week. And that is wonderful. They get to have their independence and still share a touch. It is that touching that gives me cause to ponder.
I am a hugger. I crave the human touch. It gives me connection. I make a point of touching people when I see them, whether it is a hug to the appropriate person, or just a touch of the hand, arm or back. But to me it is my way of saying your are important enough for human contact. Your life has touched me and in return I will touch you.
It makes me think how much I miss the touch of my children and grandchildren. I usually have some kind of contact with at least one of them everyday. Via phone, text, email, facebook. It helps, but it still lacks that closeness that I crave. I understand that that is the way life is. I didn't know it was going to be like that when I was raising my kids. I thought we would always be together. I'm sure the people I serve thought the same thing. So for all intents and purposes they are still alone. It is sad to think about.
I think about how will it be when I can no longer do everything for myself. I know I would like to have some independence but I don't think I want to be alone. I don't want to burden my children by asking them to let me live with them, but then again, I don't want to just be a duty to be taken care of. When a person has been the caregiver for most of their lives how do they stop? How do they humble themselves to let a stranger help them bathe? My heart just aches for these lovely lonely people. I try to treat them with as much respect and compassion as I can. But I can never replace their family.
much all alone and see no one else except their in-home aid for weeks and weeks at a time. Others see
family members daily or at least weekly.
Still others spend a lot of time on the phone connected to loved ones.
I wonder if those family members that call regularly but visit rarely think they are doing enough for their loved
one.
"We have called Mom/Dad and they are having their needs met. Someone is doing their housework, cooking, personal needs. We have fulfilled our duty as their child." Are they though? What about companionship, face to face communication? Yes their are some that visit daily or at least several times a week. And that is wonderful. They get to have their independence and still share a touch. It is that touching that gives me cause to ponder.
I am a hugger. I crave the human touch. It gives me connection. I make a point of touching people when I see them, whether it is a hug to the appropriate person, or just a touch of the hand, arm or back. But to me it is my way of saying your are important enough for human contact. Your life has touched me and in return I will touch you.
It makes me think how much I miss the touch of my children and grandchildren. I usually have some kind of contact with at least one of them everyday. Via phone, text, email, facebook. It helps, but it still lacks that closeness that I crave. I understand that that is the way life is. I didn't know it was going to be like that when I was raising my kids. I thought we would always be together. I'm sure the people I serve thought the same thing. So for all intents and purposes they are still alone. It is sad to think about.
I think about how will it be when I can no longer do everything for myself. I know I would like to have some independence but I don't think I want to be alone. I don't want to burden my children by asking them to let me live with them, but then again, I don't want to just be a duty to be taken care of. When a person has been the caregiver for most of their lives how do they stop? How do they humble themselves to let a stranger help them bathe? My heart just aches for these lovely lonely people. I try to treat them with as much respect and compassion as I can. But I can never replace their family.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Feet washing
This month has been so full.
Staying with my daughter to help with her 6 children while she had to undergo iodine/radiation and be isolated, was a labor of love. It was a special part of my life I will treasure. It was exhausting at times. Made me realize why most young families have younger parents than me.
I admit...be the end of the second week I was a little bit less patient, to say the least. I knew this when, "I am at the end of my last nerve!" came out of my mouth. Lack of very much sleep (1 little one slept with me on the couch all but maybe 1 day), running after a 'get into EVERYTHING' 1 yr. old, fighting 4 and 7 yr. old, meals, housekeeping, not to mention the mountains of laundry a family of 6 children produce. How did I do that when I was raising my children. I know I had 2 less kids, but then I didn't have help with mine the way I did with my daughter's older children. I would not have changed a thing.
I had very little time to rest when I got home, as my orientation into my new career began 4 days later. Not counting 600 miles driving by myself to get home.
Friday I finally had my first hands on training then turned loose on my own 2 hours later. It was a very full day. 4 clients, 90 miles of traveling. I came home exhausted but happy.
One particular thing happened that changed my ideas forever.
My last client asked me to wash her feet. It made me think of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. Some churches practice the Biblical custom of feet washing along with taking communion. I have participated in this activity before. But let me tell you, it is no where close to the same thing. For one when you do this in church you are basically washing clean well groomed feet. Who comes to church dirty with stinky feet? Granted I know that in some places this does happen but I will bet they don't do much foot washing there. We have washed our children's dirty stinky feet, but we love them and don't think anything of it.
This quiet, shy, lady was morbidly obese. Because of her health condition she had rolls on her legs that sagged below her ankles. She could not even pick her feet up very high because of the weight of them. She had to lay down on her bed so I could see the bottom of her feet. Shamefully I admit, at one time this would have really grossed me out. But as I witnessed her submission to my task, I felt a humbling connection with this woman. She just wants what everyone else wants. To be cared for and loved. I felt that love and almost started to cry. Is this how Jesus felt? I don't know but he takes our morbidly obese sin and gently washes it away when we submit to Him. I will never look at feet washing the same way again.
Staying with my daughter to help with her 6 children while she had to undergo iodine/radiation and be isolated, was a labor of love. It was a special part of my life I will treasure. It was exhausting at times. Made me realize why most young families have younger parents than me.
I admit...be the end of the second week I was a little bit less patient, to say the least. I knew this when, "I am at the end of my last nerve!" came out of my mouth. Lack of very much sleep (1 little one slept with me on the couch all but maybe 1 day), running after a 'get into EVERYTHING' 1 yr. old, fighting 4 and 7 yr. old, meals, housekeeping, not to mention the mountains of laundry a family of 6 children produce. How did I do that when I was raising my children. I know I had 2 less kids, but then I didn't have help with mine the way I did with my daughter's older children. I would not have changed a thing.
I had very little time to rest when I got home, as my orientation into my new career began 4 days later. Not counting 600 miles driving by myself to get home.
Friday I finally had my first hands on training then turned loose on my own 2 hours later. It was a very full day. 4 clients, 90 miles of traveling. I came home exhausted but happy.
One particular thing happened that changed my ideas forever.
My last client asked me to wash her feet. It made me think of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. Some churches practice the Biblical custom of feet washing along with taking communion. I have participated in this activity before. But let me tell you, it is no where close to the same thing. For one when you do this in church you are basically washing clean well groomed feet. Who comes to church dirty with stinky feet? Granted I know that in some places this does happen but I will bet they don't do much foot washing there. We have washed our children's dirty stinky feet, but we love them and don't think anything of it.
This quiet, shy, lady was morbidly obese. Because of her health condition she had rolls on her legs that sagged below her ankles. She could not even pick her feet up very high because of the weight of them. She had to lay down on her bed so I could see the bottom of her feet. Shamefully I admit, at one time this would have really grossed me out. But as I witnessed her submission to my task, I felt a humbling connection with this woman. She just wants what everyone else wants. To be cared for and loved. I felt that love and almost started to cry. Is this how Jesus felt? I don't know but he takes our morbidly obese sin and gently washes it away when we submit to Him. I will never look at feet washing the same way again.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Going Home
On my travel back to Indiana I was thinking of the old adage that "you can never go home."
I always wondered why someone would think that.
It must be because they have the expectation of everything staying just the way it was when they left it.
We always want to feel that feeling of security that we felt when we were growing up.
That we would always be cared for, loved, cherished, important.
That we didn't have to worry about the unknown because "Daddy" would take care of that and there really wasn't any unknown.
But that doesn't seem to be the case if we just look at the surface.
Life is full of the unknown.
We don't even know in the next minute was is going to happen.
But look closer...
We have a "Daddy" that takes care of the unknown if we let Him.
We can still feel cared for, loved, cherished, important...because we are...to our Heavenly Daddy.
We don't need to worry about "never going home again" because we really haven't been there yet.
This isn't really our home.
Our family is our home no matter where they are.
Not just our biological family, but our family in Christ.
If they are our brothers and sisters shouldn't they feel like home too?
I always wondered why someone would think that.
It must be because they have the expectation of everything staying just the way it was when they left it.
We always want to feel that feeling of security that we felt when we were growing up.
That we would always be cared for, loved, cherished, important.
That we didn't have to worry about the unknown because "Daddy" would take care of that and there really wasn't any unknown.
But that doesn't seem to be the case if we just look at the surface.
Life is full of the unknown.
We don't even know in the next minute was is going to happen.
But look closer...
We have a "Daddy" that takes care of the unknown if we let Him.
We can still feel cared for, loved, cherished, important...because we are...to our Heavenly Daddy.
We don't need to worry about "never going home again" because we really haven't been there yet.
This isn't really our home.
Our family is our home no matter where they are.
Not just our biological family, but our family in Christ.
If they are our brothers and sisters shouldn't they feel like home too?
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Why am I here?
Such a generic question. Is it why am I here in the world, or why am I here in Missouri?
Yes and no. It is more than that. Why did God put me HERE?
Right here. What is His plan for me? What is it He wants me to do HERE?
I do want to do His will, what is it? When do we know that it is His will, or ours?
It can be both. When we tune in to God's word we can know what is not His will.
But we have to tune in, read, contemplate, study, meditate on.
Not just read books about His word, but read His word.
No one said that being a Christian is easy. You don't just say "I believe" then float along.
I guess that would mean that you don't really believe.
Yes and no. It is more than that. Why did God put me HERE?
Right here. What is His plan for me? What is it He wants me to do HERE?
I do want to do His will, what is it? When do we know that it is His will, or ours?
It can be both. When we tune in to God's word we can know what is not His will.
But we have to tune in, read, contemplate, study, meditate on.
Not just read books about His word, but read His word.
No one said that being a Christian is easy. You don't just say "I believe" then float along.
I guess that would mean that you don't really believe.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
changes
Do you like changes? I do, some of them anyway. I get bored pretty easily. I can't just sit and watch TV. I
have to either be on the computer or doing a crossword puzzle or maybe sudoku. But changes are scary too.
New jobs, new people, new places. Years ago that would petrify me. Now I love it. New jobs give me a
challenge to satisfy my boredom. New people give me an opportunity to make new friends or maybe be a
help or comfort. New places give me a sense of adventure and the thrill of discovery. Why was I ever
scared of such wonder and life?
have to either be on the computer or doing a crossword puzzle or maybe sudoku. But changes are scary too.
New jobs, new people, new places. Years ago that would petrify me. Now I love it. New jobs give me a
challenge to satisfy my boredom. New people give me an opportunity to make new friends or maybe be a
help or comfort. New places give me a sense of adventure and the thrill of discovery. Why was I ever
scared of such wonder and life?
Monday, April 11, 2011
Spring
Love...love...love...spring. New life...blooms...croaking frogs...singing birds...life rejoices!
Spring is to be shared, enjoyed, relished. It will all too soon be too hot and too dry to have the same magic
that spring holds. I wish I had my grandchildren here to discover this new beginning again with me. I love my
home, just that I love my family more.
Spring is to be shared, enjoyed, relished. It will all too soon be too hot and too dry to have the same magic
that spring holds. I wish I had my grandchildren here to discover this new beginning again with me. I love my
home, just that I love my family more.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
It is really rough being a parent. I use to think that and now that my family is raised I look back and think it really wasn't all that bad. Sure there were some rough patches and heartbreak, but all in all it was a joy and privilege. Now the rough part is dealing with aging parents. No one ever told me that. Most people think you just put them in a nursing home and you have done your part. Visit them from time to time and that makes you a good person. Think about it though...is that what you want for your life? Do you want to turn a certain age and let your children make all your decicions for the rest of your life? Even if they love you that doesn't mean that they will do what is best for you, but what is easiest for them. What has happened to families. Are we not suppose to take care of them if we can? Sure there are exceptions. If at all possible I want my parents to have the kind of life that they want. If they make bad decisions then let them as long as it doesn't endanger anyone else.
God allows us to make bad and wrong decisions. I just weep for the love that is lost when one grows older.
God allows us to make bad and wrong decisions. I just weep for the love that is lost when one grows older.
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